Kevin Costner to release long awaited sequel to Dances with Wolves

Academy Award winning director and movie star Kevin Costner feels like he needs to pay more homage to the American West by being more specific. His next film will go more into depth and be titled, "Square Dances with Non-Domestic Canines". He also feels the three hour long epic wasn’t long enough to accurately depict life on the prairie so he plans to make the sequel even longer to truthfully tell the story. Always looking for ways to increase the profit margin, Costner plans on having an affordable “restroom break surcharge”.


The Academy Award winning actor/director, not known for cutting corners, has already secured funding from anonymous sources for his 11 billion dollar western epic sequel. Sources close the project say they’ve heard Costner boasting that even though this project has no script yet, it will make 1995’s great American classic Waterworld seem like an after school special.


Costner’s spokesperson, Cybil Waingrow, says his new movie will go deeper into the terminology and the difficult moves of square dancing. She also offers a hint that Costner plans to unveil his signature and highly dangerous move, the “Tatanka”, where he follows it by promenading either left or right depending on his mood. Waingrow goes on to say that Costner himself is in negotiations with Sara Jessica Parker to play the female lead because Kevin “feels she very closely reminds me of a North American non-domestic canine”.


Kevin Costner first shot to fame for his role of Alex in the 1983 blockbuster The Big Chill. He went on to star in such Hollywood films as Bull Durham and 3000 Miles to Graceland. Costner won the Academy Award for Best Director for 1990’s Dances with Wolves. Costner first created a national controversy in 1988 when he proved he was a serious method actor by taking illegal steroids for his role in Bull Durham and exposing the widespread epidemic of steroids in professional baseball. He says he would like to do the same thing with professional football and is collaborating with some former players on a script in which he would play a rookie on the ragged edge.

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