Kmart sues Rain Man for slander.

Kmart, a subsidiary of the Sears Holding Corporation, has filed a lawsuit against Raymond “Rain Man” Babbitt. The company claims that after the 1988 documentary “Rain Man”, in which the film portrayed Babbitt as a flashy dresser, a womanizer and a degenerate gambler, the company’s stock and sales headed into a downward spiral resulting in loss of revenue, continually poor stock performance and the closure of many of its retail stores and its eventual takeover by Sears Holding Corporation.


A Kmart employee, who wished to remain anonymous, said, “Sebastian S. Kresge would have rolled over in his grave if he would have heard that window licker badmouth something he worked so hard for.”


As stated in the lawsuit filed on Friday, June 26, 2009 by the firm Bendini, Lambert and Locke, acting attorney Mitch McDeere said, “Raymond Babbitt slandered our company, locally, nationally and worldwide when he uttered those now famous and careless words ‘Kmart sucks’ and our company’s performance has suffered ever since.”


Protests outside the Walbrook Hospital where Babbitt resides remained relatively peaceful with laid off former Kmart employees carrying signs that read “Raymond is a Card Counter” and “Who’s on first?” until patients at the hospital started chanting “Hot water burn baby!” and hurling smoke detectors at the crowd of former employees.


Raymond Babbitt was not available for comment because he was driving slow on the driveway, but his representative, who wished only to be referred to as “Vern” had this prepared statement: “Raymond, who only heard about this frivolous lawsuit on 97X, BAM!! The Future of Rock and Roll, would like to issue a personal apology but feels he definitely, definitely is not at fault for the substandard quality in Kmart’s products over the years and plans to file counter suit. Mr. Babbitt will be recording this lawsuit in his red book as a serious injury and is looking forward to bringing his case before Wapner and for the record only buys his size 32 Hanes boxer shorts from Kmart.”


Also named in the suit against Raymond Babbitt were Raymond’s brother Charlie and his girlfriend Susanna.

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